Monday, 31 August 2009

Birdie, rest a little longer.

Cradle Song from Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809 – 1892):
 What does little birdie say
In her nest, at peep of day?
Let me fly, says little birdie,
Mother, let me fly away.
Birdie, rest a little longer,

Till thy little wings are stronger.  
So she rests a little longer,
                                                       Then she flies away.
What does little baby say,
In her bed at peep of day?

Baby says, like little birdie,
Let me rise and fly away.
Baby, sleep a little longer,
Till thy little limbs are stronger.
If she sleeps a little longer,
Baby too shall fly away.
 I have a photo of Jessie like this when she was a little bit younger than Ellie is now. I remember taking the photo and how I felt as I took it. Thats the funny thing with photos, they tell a story, but its always a one sided story. It may capture a moment on film, but what you do not capture is the story from the one behind the lens. When I captured the photo of Jessie sleeping, I was in labour. Jessie had been so tired, that she had fallen asleep on her bed during the afternoon. I remember the flashes of conflicting emotions  running through me as I watched her peacefully rest. She was my precious first child. No longer a babe, no longer nursing, she was a little girl now. But my love for her was so strong. She was my daughter. I couldn't help wondering how it was possible to love another child the same way. I watched her little face, all relaxed and dreamy, almost with a sense of sadness. She had no idea how a new babe would change things.. how would she react to sharing us with another?
 Then along came Ellie, by the way, it is very possible to love both your children with equal amounts of love!! there is plenty to go around! here I am, watching her sleep, loving her so much and wondering how she will feel, not to be the youngest ? I'm overwhelmed by both my daughters. They give so much to us as their parents. Yes its hard work, a lot of the time, but the rewards are so good. They fill me with such love and satisfaction, my purpose is all wrapped up in them and beyond. I still find myself, watching them while they sleep-wishing that time would slow and save me more days with them when they are small, calling me 'mumma' xxx

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