Friday, 14 August 2009

He holds my life in his hands.

Jeremiah 6:16

  This is what the LORD says:
       "Stand at the crossroads and look;
       ask for the ancient paths,
       ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
       and you will find rest for your souls." 

Life is full of seasons- It also holds many cross roads.
Once again, I stand at a cross road. It requires of me to make decisions.
I don't particularly like making decisions.
I guess I dont always feel that i know enough to trust my own judgement.
I prefer it when my heavenly Father gives me very clear & prompt directions.
This time, he has been very quiet. I have felt his spirit gently nudging me and
causing me to ask many questions, but there has been no 'writing in the sky'
How can you trust your own decisions and choices? What if the consequences of those choices
lead you into to difficulties and hardship?
How can we be sure that we are choosing the right path to walk down?

I find myself in this place, once again. I cling to the gentle whispers that have given little clues along the way.
I remember the softened voice of my Father asking me over a year ago, "will you have more children?"
I remember the questions it caused my heart to ask. I pondered over why God would ask me, if I would?
Maybe he knew, how hard I would find it, to answer, "Yes Lord."

Life can be busy, life can be chaotic, life can pull you to the left and then to the right, then spin you around and leave you feeling disorientated. Being constantly pulled from side to side, with God given desires, talents that haven't had the chance to fully shine, desires so deeply rooted within our hearts...
I have often questioned my heavenly Father asking, "when Lord will I release these things that are in my heart?"

It is said, that in order for a dream to come to pass, it first must die. Like a seed, planted in the darkness of the damp soil, we may find ourselves asking, "where is the light? Where do I go from here? How do I change from what I am, into the blossoming flower that I know I am destined to be? How do I get there?
We must wait for the right season, we must wait on God.

One thing I am slowly realizing is that Gods timing is not our timing. We have logical, natural reasoning, that tells us things like, " I am too old now, to see those dreams come alive" " I am too tired now, to feel the fire I once held in my heart."
I have been guilty of these thoughts, I have struggled at times between what I have hidden within me and the life I am living.
But, I am not the potter! I am the clay, in my masters hands. He holds my life, with a steady, focused grip. He knows when to pull me in, he knows when to spin my world around on his creative potters wheel. He knows when to cleanse me with water and make me more pliable in his hands. He has the design and shape of my life in his mind. He makes no mistakes when he carefully crafts and shapes our lives. He knows when we are ready for the fire and when we he is satisfied with how we are to decorate us and glaze us and make us in his perfect image.

His eternal view looks at my life with the greatest of love. A Fathers love. My times and seasons are in his hands.
The desires within my heart are there because he placed them there. He is able to bring them about, at the perfect time.
So I ask myself, why do we struggle against his plans? Why do we find it so hard to trust his eternal perspective?
The Bible is full of seemingly impossible situations that are made possible.
Surely we can learn from these stories and accounts. Abraham, a man of significant years fell face down and he laughed when God told him he was to be a Father at the age of 100 years. He said to himself, "Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?"
Surely Abraham was using his logical, natural mind in his response to Gods promise " Through your offspring all peoples on earth will be blessed.'

I am also drawn toward a warning against unbelief and lack of trust towards the spoken words of God into our lives.
Abraham became tired of waiting for his promise, so he used his own strength to make Gods promise happen.
He took the timing into his own hands, rather than trusting God.
The consequences of this were significant.

So what am I learning? What is God trying to say to me , as I stand at these cross roads, with doubt and uncertainty in my heart?
I hear him ask, "Will you follow me? Will you choose to walk the path I am leading you onto, or will logic and doubt blur your vision? Will you trust my timing for all the other things I have placed within your heart? Will you put away your natural thinking and tune into your spirit man? Will you walk the narrow path?

I feel a peace fill me, I think I know the path I am now on- the path of Trust!

Jeremy Camp-Beyond measure:

The fog has finally cleared to see,
The beautiful life you’ve given me
To feel the breeze of my newborn’s gentle breath
With one to walk hand in hand,
To share this life that you have planned
It’s like a storybook with dreams
That are meant to see every next step is an extraordinary scene

I know that I’ve been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasure,
I come alive when
I’ve broken down and given you control

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