Monday, 14 June 2010

When you're low.

Honestly, things have been tough recently.
I'm used to doing things,
 cleaning the house, 
cooking the meals,
washing the clothes,
bathing the girls,
bedtime routine,
studying for my degree,
getting out...

Not recently!

Being pregnant has knocked me sidewards,
well, horizontal anyway!


I am so tired, nauseous, dizzy,
breathless and plain out of shape for most of the above!

My Husband has to work,
I have a friend help me by doing the morning school run.
When James is home, he's having to do a lot of my work,
watch the girls,
sometimes prepare meals,
plus He has other work he needs to do in the evening.
We are both shattered,
for different reasons!

I don't know if you remember the Crocus 
picture that God gave me,
well I kept thinking on it.
One night I just got so fed up,
I had been crying,
tired of not being able to do anything,
I was angry,
I felt that God had mislead me.
" I cant cope! You must have been wrong!"

James came in,
also exhausted,
frustrated with all the extra things.
But we sat and spoke.
"Its not the end of the world, that we are behind on the laundry,
Its not the end of the world, if the kids are a bit out of routine,
Its not the end of the world, that I don't get to cook every night...
God has prompted us to walk in this direction,
to have another baby,
So it is what we are doing,
and in his strength we will get through!

I felt a silly hormonal woman..
which I am ( !!)
but sometimes,
We worry about the silly things,
rather than just seeing it all as a season,
one in which we need to rest.
Enjoy the fact we are a family,
and we are looking forward to having another addition.

The next morning-things were lighter,

I wrote this song today,
I am putting it to music,
which is another thing I haven't done in ages!


Why did you take your eyes off of me?
why did you make them focus on the storm?
Don't you know that I'm your Father?
And I take, great delight in caring for you.

Wont you lean into me.
Wont you lean into me.
Wont you take the weight off your own feet,
and lean again on me.

You started out well, so full of faith,
You placed your feet out upon the waters.
You never once broke your gaze with my eyes,
You stood, You walked on water.

Why did you take your eyes off of me?
Why did you make them focus on the storm?
Don't you know that I'm your Father?
And i take, great delight in caring for you.

Wont you lean into me.
Wont you lean into me.
Wont you take the weight off your own feet,
and lean again on me.


Colleen said...

I'm sorry you guys have been having a tough time, but it will get better. And just think about that little bundle of joy you'll have in a few months :-) I will most definitely keep praying for you!!

also, thanks for your words on my last blog post. I'm definitely taking what you said to heart. thanks :)

p.s. when you put music to that beautiful song of yours, will you post it on your blog?

Stephanie M. Page said...

That was beautiful. I always say that when I am pregnant it is like a little alien has come in and taken over my body. =)

Faith said...

This is a beautiful post. It can be so hard to keep perspective when the season of life we are in has turned everything upside down. Thank you for sharing :)

Claudia said...

Love the pictures - love the words of the song

Anonymous said...

I feel for you, mama. I was really sick the whole time with my last pregnancy and I also experieced prenatal depression of some sort. I felt like a vacuum sucked me dry. It was hard to deal with because I still had 2 kids to take care of. I pray for you and I appreciate your song.

God's girl said...

wow, so very beautiful! It is hard to see the rainbow during the storm, but it sounds like you are totally in God's grip clinging to His beauty and His peace!

Praying comfort and peace over your body in Jesus' name!

Blessings, Heaven

Anonymous said...

Aw I didn't know/remember that you were pregnant. Congratulations! I'll send up some prayers that you start to feel even just a little better soon <3

Crystal Roberts said...

I know the feling of being pregnant, done that 5 times! My third was the HARDEST. Everything took all of my effort and energy! I completly understand. Keep your chin up, you will come through this and you will be stronger for it!

Hannah said...

I'm so sorry about the tough time...excited for you for the baby though! That will make it all better. :-)

God Bless!

Rebecca said...

Hello dear, sorry about the tough time you are having. I don't know where I missed out on the fact of your up and expecting pregnancy! :-)
Congratz!! I'm thrilled for you. I love your words you are very talented in that department. Will keep you in prayers. Pregnancy is quite a journey even though it's a blessing it can put a buckle in life. I was so sick with my last baby that I said I'd never do it again. God has you!

Sarah Ann said...

I just found your blog, and I love it!! And this post was wonderful - thank you.

Sonora said...

Congratulations on the pregnancy! How exciting. It is so hard not being able to do all of the things that you want to. I actually really needed this post. Things have been really hard for me lately too, although for different reasons. I love your song. How true are those words. It gives me some food for thought. Perhaps I should do some re-prioritizing.


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