Must I?

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Beloved

 I slept but my heart was awake.
       Listen! My lover is knocking:
       "Open to me, my sister, my darling,
       my dove, my flawless one.
       My head is drenched with dew,
       my hair with the dampness of the night."

  I have taken off my robe—

       must I put it on again?

       I have washed my feet—

       must I soil them again?

 My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening;

       my heart began to pound for him.

  I arose to open for my lover,

       and my hands dripped with myrrh,

       my fingers with flowing myrrh,

       on the handles of the lock.

  I opened for my lover,

       but my lover had left; he was gone.

       My heart sank at his departure. 

       I looked for him but did not find him.

       I called him but he did not answer.

{Song of Solomon 5:2-6}

I was reading this portion of scripture this morning,

thinking about the fruits of the spirit,

how we must aim to improve our characters,

in Gods strength,

to become more holy and pleasing to him.

It was a string of thoughts, 

that led me to the song of solomon,

here,

Beloved

"Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! 

Blow on my garden, 

that its fragrance may spread abroad. 

Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits."

This part of scripture,

is found in the chapter directly before the chapter above.

See here,

how the beloved,

invites her lover into his garden,

to taste its choice fruits,

yet above,

she hears her lover coming to the door and

cries out to him,

"I have taken off my robe— 

       must I put it on again? "

{emphasis mine}

It made me wonder, what happened in between

those two chapters to cause such a change of heart?

One minute the beloved is inviting

her lover to taste of all the choice fruits,

next,

she cant be bothered to get to door,

she has just washed her feet..

taken off her robe,

.......

When she realized that in fact, she did long to see him,

he had gone...

Now, Song of Solomon is full of symbolism,

Christ's love for us,

his bride,

his church.

Yet,

this nudged my heart,

how are we like this so often....

One minute we are love struck for our saviour,

delving into his word,

every given moment,

praying constantly,

singing praises,

loving on him,

then all too easily,

we get distracted,

pulled away by other things.

until we find ourselves saying,

"Must I?"

"Must I go and sit and read?

Must I seek him, right now?"

{I am just busy doing this....and that}

Lets not become the One who says,

"Must I?"

Lets be the One who say,

"Come lord!

Meet me here,

in your garden! I cant wait to see you!"

Get your desperation back!

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