Tears for Jessie.

photo source

Tonight, I was a little overwhelmed.

It happens at varying stages in my children's life, when I suddenly notice their growth, or when I get a special glimpse of who they are.

Tonight, we had had a lovely family time before getting into bed, the girls had performed little worship shows for us.

They had made a stage {2 towels on the bedroom floor} a microphone stand { a camera tripod} and set to work, showing us their talents!

Singing and dancing along to Seeds of family worship, they sung their little hearts out, danced for God and in my opinion, expressed their worship to him.

It was precious to watch.

Then we cleaned teeth, jammies on and  settled down for a 'made up' story, by Mummy and a time of prayer before bed.

They were kissed and left in their room, drifting off to the sound of the worship CD.

Hours later, I came up to turn off their night lamp and kiss their heads, as I did,

I was struck. There lay my first born Jessie, all legs and arms, long and skinny, two front teeeth missing, hugging onto her teddies, who she has had since the day she was born.

"She won't always be like this" came the thoughts to my mind, "One day, she wont be this little girl, who holds her favorite teddies as she sleeps...One day she will be a grown woman, a teenager. This sweet tender age, is only for such a short while."

I stroked her cheek, overcome with maternal sadness, for this child of mine, whom I Iove so much, who will some day fly my nest and lead her own life.

I told her how much I loved her, as she slept. I prayed for her heart, that it would always be secure in love. That God would keep her, by his side, when my role weakened. I found myself praying, that He would be her source of comfort, eternally.

I turned off the lamp, crept out the room and felt I wanted to write her a note, like she writes me, telling her how much I loved her. I made one for Ellie to. As I wrote their individual notes, the thought crossed my mind, 'This feels like taking all of what I have, something so precious and spilling it all over my children, I want them to be lavished with my love. It feels like giving my all, my best, to them....It feels expensive, but so, so worth it! For they are here in my nest, for only a short time..."

As these thoughts swam around my mind, I suddenly saw the picture of Mary, at Jesus feet, spilling out the expensive perfume, giving her all, and Jesus replying to those that questioned her actions, " You will always have the poor, but you wont always have me."

I felt filled with Gods love, for my children. His children, who are a gift to me. I wont always have them, under my roof, depending on me, as they do now. So while they are, I wish not to hold any love back, I want them to grow in an environment of love, acceptance, praise, security, where they are lifted up, strengthened, encouraged, corrected, and taught. For one day, they wont be in my home, clutching at their teddies, performing little shows and talking of child like things. 

I choose to cherish each moment, with Gods grace,  to pour out all of my love, into them and my husband, for this is the gift , that I have been given.

I wrote this last night, then I read my blogs  this morning and found two relevant posts,

here, and here. Take a look.