When you're low.

Honestly, things have been tough recently.

I'm used to doing things,

 cleaning the house, 

cooking the meals,

washing the clothes,

bathing the girls,

bedtime routine,

studying for my degree,

getting out...

Not recently!

Being pregnant has knocked me sidewards,

well, horizontal anyway!

zzzzzzzzz

I am so tired, nauseous, dizzy,

breathless and plain out of shape for most of the above!

My Husband has to work,

I have a friend help me by doing the morning school run.

When James is home, he's having to do a lot of my work,

watch the girls,

sometimes prepare meals,

plus He has other work he needs to do in the evening.

We are both shattered,

for different reasons!

I don't know if you remember the Crocus 

picture that God gave me,

well I kept thinking on it.

One night I just got so fed up,

I had been crying,

tired of not being able to do anything,

I was angry,

I felt that God had mislead me.

" I cant cope! You must have been wrong!"

James came in,

also exhausted,

frustrated with all the extra things.

But we sat and spoke.

"Its not the end of the world, that we are behind on the laundry,

Its not the end of the world, if the kids are a bit out of routine,

Its not the end of the world, that I don't get to cook every night...

God has prompted us to walk in this direction,

to have another baby,

So it is what we are doing,

and in his strength we will get through!

I felt a silly hormonal woman..

which I am ( !!)

but sometimes,

We worry about the silly things,

rather than just seeing it all as a season,

one in which we need to rest.

Enjoy the fact we are a family,

and we are looking forward to having another addition.

The next morning-things were lighter,

brighter,

easier,

peaceful.

I wrote this song today,

I am putting it to music,

which is another thing I haven't done in ages!

Storm

Why did you take your eyes off of me?

why did you make them focus on the storm?

Don't you know that I'm your Father?

And I take, great delight in caring for you.

Wont you lean into me.

Wont you lean into me.

Wont you take the weight off your own feet,

and lean again on me.

You started out well, so full of faith,

You placed your feet out upon the waters.

You never once broke your gaze with my eyes,

You stood, You walked on water.

Why did you take your eyes off of me?

Why did you make them focus on the storm?

Don't you know that I'm your Father?

And i take, great delight in caring for you.

Wont you lean into me.

Wont you lean into me.

Wont you take the weight off your own feet,

and lean again on me.