Pamper me silly

This weekend I jetted off to Belfast to celebrate a close old friends 30th birthday. We have kept in touch and a group of us girlies have remained close despite age, distance and having totally different lives.
 We got to Belfast to be told that we would be recieving secret treats that evening, which turned out to be
Hot stone massages, manicures and pedicures. Simply devine. We were fed and relaxed to the max!
 The next evening we put on our glad rags and headed into Belfast to a spanish tapas bar. Lots of small courses, that became the better of us and we had to tell them to stop bringing it out after about 6 courses!
We did however manage to squeeze in a bit of desert!
 I am feeling very relaxed and happy to be part of a lovely group of friends. I have returned home , looking forward to setting to the plans God has for our family. Excited. :-)

Count it all joy?

Only a few days ago, I was thinking about how we tend to blog the good things that are gong on. 
Today I find myself, not in the greatest of places, struggling to stay a float.  Circumstances have been hard for a whille now, but God is faithful and has always come through. But some times there are days when you feel you just cant go on. Tired, drained, emotional, non- inspired, quite different to how you felt last week or even just yesterday, but somehow, you just feel 'done in.'
 Between James ans I this week, it has been a battle to stay joyful, up beat and full of hope. 
I had a bad day on sunday, where i couldnt stop crying.  James has also felt stressed, frustrated & heavy yesterday. Fortunately, I was OK yesterday, so able to help him see Gods hand in our circumstances and encourage him. He did the same for me when I was upset. Theres a verse in Ecclessiastes which says, 
 ' Two are better than one, 
       because they have a good return for their work:
 ¹⁰ If one falls down,
       his friend can help him up.
       But pity the man who falls
       and has no one to help him up!'
Its been a bit like that recently. One has been strong when the other is weak. 
I'm slightly unsure as to why things get so tough at times. But it becomes like an over powering wave, that decides to engulf you and bring you down.
 One thing I know, God remains the same. My fight is to keep my eyes fixed on his eyes, even though the storms will come, I keep my faith in him. 
He is always in control, so I want to hold onto the hem of his garment and not let go, until the storm is over.
 'Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and friend' Psalm 42.5

Thoughts from the balcony

James and I popped  into london on Thursday night to go to Hammersmith  Apollo.

The concert was one that I was particularly excited about, as it was Tori Amos.

 To fill you in, Tori Amos was the first artist that I really felt connected to as a teenager. Her music and raw, emotional, lyrical content totally inspired me as a young girl.

 I followed her music from her first single (on tape!) right through to her current album. 

 Something within me leapt when I first heard her music. Little did I know at that point in time, that I would discover my own desire to write and create my own music.

 It was a few years after discovering her new 'sound' that God started to reveal to me my own gift and desire to write and sing. 

 I had always loved to sing, but just along to other artists. I  distinctly remember the day  when I felt God whisper to me that he wanted me to write songs and sing for him.

 I didn't feel I had a gift, I had never written lyrics as such and I certainly didn't feel confident to do so....but it started to flow. 

 I started by simply writing down my emotional and spiritual journeys. They slowly  adapted to become lyrics. 

 To cut a long story short, I eventually found myself in a band, singing my songs to crowds all over west wales. I sung in our local pubs, school assemblies, church events, all sorts. I am not a naturally confident performer, and I know that God gave me  the strength to do this. It certainly wasn't done in  own strength!

 Time went on and I am still writing songs. I do still feel that there is more to come in that area, but I am unsure as to when or how.

 So, we arrived at the Apollo, eager to find our seats and see the show. 

It was a very strange feeling, watching Tori perform. The songs were so familiar to me. It was kind of hard to engage that it was actually her singing them-live! Anyone that knows me well, would easily associate Tori's music with me.

 We sat listening and enjoying the show.  I am a bit of a people watcher, I must confess, I find watching others an interesting task. I guess it helps, to notice other peoples body language and gestures, given that I am studying to be a  Counselor. 

 I sat observing a couple in front of me. ( It was hard not to really, as they were very enthusiastic and kept moving and chatting , head bobbing and kissing!) They were clearly excited by Tori's presence. 

 At one point the girl in front wiped a few tears from her eyes. It got me thinking...

Here was I,  who had followed Toris music from a very young age, loved her voice, her style, her music-(not always her lyrical content but hey!) and to anyone else, perhaps observing me at that time, would have possibly no idea as to how I was feeling at that time.

 I was pretty tired, hungry, a little rushed as we had caught the slow train by accident. I was sitting quietly, appreciating the experience in a contemplative state. Aside from the odd smile or gentle foot tap to the rhythm, I may not have looked very enthusiastic. But I was. 

 I have never been  a 'star struck' sort of person, who gets completely emotional,  screamy and crazy at the sight of a celebrity - apart from one time when we spotted Bruce willis in spain, but that was more of an unexpected squeal! :-)

To me, they are people, just like you or I,  doing a job, but in the public eye. There is nothing more special about them. 

I did however find myself wanting to be closer to the stage so that I could get a  better view and a closer look at Tori, getting lost in her music. 

 My camera wasn't able to take good photos and it was a little frustrating. The girl in front of us, got out of her seat to take a photo from the balcony. I sat still, continuing to enjoy the music.

 Then a thought came to me, If it was Jesus on that stage, I know I would be behaving differently.... If I was not at the front, I would be fighting to get there! 

If I couldn't see him well enough, I would be doing everything within my power to get as close as I could! To me, he is my hero! I am a BIG fan....and it is not in a wordly admiration sense. He doesn't  just inspire me in one area, he is my inspiration!

Tori, as much as I love her music,  has a totally different performing agenda. She brings glory to herself and her musicians as she sings.. I found myself wanting to sing and perform, to bring glory to Jesus. I wanted to be singing about him and pointing people to his face, his fame, his glory. My desire is to draw people closer to him...There is no one I admire more than him. 

quick one..

I was out at a Tori Amos gig last night, which was great-will post more on that at a later time, but just quickly wanted to show you my new organized area. I got the idea from a great blog-named Joy. ( Just organize yourself)

She encourages mums to have a little area where they have lists, rotas, diary events etc stored. So I got a bit crafty and created my own 'space.'
Being nick-names a bit of a 'monica' - due to my habit to clean and tidy things away all the time! I hope it helps me run things more efficiently :-)

Have a good day!

Slow living.

I found some old notes that I had written, after reading a book, last christmas on  Practical parenting. I was pleased to find, that we have actually taken more time to enjoy the 'small' things in life and have seen quite a lot of change in the family dynamics over the year. Too often, life takes over and speeds out of control, leaving you drained. But these simple pointers really help.

LIFE

 * Incorporate bite sized  'slow paced living'  into daily life. 

* Make time for hobbies, walks, meals, board games, reading books.

* Don't lose your sense of identity, make time for what really matters!

Children

Time to play, explore & dream.

Discipline - Be consistent, boundaries, Praise!

GIVE positive criticism. Praise a lot... :-)

Don't 'label' your children, find positive ways to talk.

They need your time. Re-boot their esteem and imagination.

Me

Make time for yourself!

Devotional, Artwork, creative outlets, story writing, writing. counseling, coffee , relax and pamper. Use time wisely, ditch things that drain you and are not necessary. 

Gift wrap

"I want to give you a gift- will you accept it?"

I tried to ignore the voice.. but it got louder and this time came with a picture.

Jesus was smiling, kind of cheekily grinning, "will you accept it?"

 I sighed inside. I can never say no to this man! I knew I would eventually give in..."Yes OK Lord." 

A scent of sweet surrender filled the room. I looked up, trying to avoid the view

directly in front of my eyes.  A little new born baby girl, hanging over her mothers 

shoulder, staring straight at me. God has funny ways of talking to me. This was one of them. 

For a little while now, he has been softening my heart and nudging the idea of having more

children. Expanding the KNIGHT brood! Its taken me a while to decide if it is the right 

thing to do, and if it is the right time to try, but James and I have both felt that the time is now.

When you are unsure of things, God says to ask for wisdom, so that is what we did.

James 1:5 

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

If it is your true desire to seek God in all you do, asking him for his guidance and wisdom in 

your life decisions, then He will honor you by giving you the answers or the peace that you need. 

When I needed a little 'extra convincing' over the decision to try for a third baby, God asked me to look up the 

Rebekah blessing. Rebekah being my name, it made sense. So I re read the passage on her blessing.

"And they blessed Rebekah and said to her: 

      Our sister, may you become

      The mother of thousands of ten thousands; 

      And may your descendants possess 

      The gates of those who hate them.” 

Genesis 24:60

I had to laugh when I read this, because I have read this before, and knew about Rebekahs blessing, but for that moment It was like reading it a fresh!  Many other ways he confirmed to us, it was right to have another baby, every query I had or concern, he would answer in his word, or through things that I read. For example, I queried the timing of having a third child, as I am currently studying. I asked him, "God would it not be more sensible to wait until I have finished my studies?" (although I work from home and have no deadlines, it was still a question in my mind.) I opened the word to the story of Mary being told she was going to have a son-Jesus. To which she replied, " But I am not married yet!"I expect she thought to herself, " Lord, surely it would be more sensible to wait, tillI am married?" But God had his timing perfected and his reasoning behind it all!

Psalm 37:23 says "The steps of a good man are ordered by the lord,  and he delights in his way"

Sometimes God asks us to be obedient and to simply trust his will. There are times when this fits perfectly with our own ideas and plans, other times he may well throw in some little surprises or unexpected plans-maybe to keep us on our toes! :-) But I am excited for the knight family future and I want to take every step, holding my heavenly Fathers hand.

God sets eternity in the hearts of men.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV In this chapter it speaks about God placing eternity in the hearts of men. Something excited me when I re- read that. Eternity, within us.  Within our hearts and inner most beings. What an awesome privilege it is, to have almighty God,  maker of the universe, maker of the earth and all that lives,  to plant eternity in the hearts of men. When I first had a clear revelation of God reclaiming mens hearts  unto him, it blew me away.  Sometimes, It seems so black and white,   the clear difference between those who know God & those who do not. The more intimately acquainted I become with Gods voice, his ways, his plans & his presence, the more obvious it becomes to me, that we are made in his image, set apart for a purpose.  The things around me, than never used to display Gods beauty,  suddenly do!  The gift of life, conception to birth. God is at the  heart of that miracle! The unique and fantastic flower structures,  the delicate fragile wing of a dragonfly, the tiny hairs on a persons face, (yet he knows them all!) God is a creator. He is a creative God! We see spectacular displays of his creativity all around us,  yet some days we are too blind to even notice! To take something for granted, simply means; to fail to notice or  appreciate someone or something that is very familiar or  obvious to us. We can do this all the time. Every day, on our way to school, on the way to work, walking to  someone's house, we pass by &  observe many  displays of Gods creativity. Yet we may fail to notice! Distracted by the thoughts in our own minds. Worries or stresses of this world.  In Matthew 18:3 Jesus says " I tell you the truth, unless you become like little children, you will never enter  the kingdom of heaven.' What are children like I ask myself?  Children do not hide their excitement!  Children, tell it as it is!  Children will notice things that fascinate them, and point them out and call you, to tell you all about it!  Children get passionate about things!  Children will be full of wonder and curiosity about things that intrigue them.  They will stop and observe flowers and butterflies, and study them. On our way to Church this morning, the girls kept stopping  on our walk, to pick flowers growing through a nearby  fence. I was aware of the time and not wanting to be late kept telling them, "Come on girls! We will be late.  Leave the flowers alone!" How adulthood can dull the excitement of seeing Eternity  and creation in the day to day! Lord I pray, that where possible, I will have the eyes to see  and the heart of a child to explore and wonder about your creative declarations, that surround me in my daily life.  Allow me the stillness to breathe in the beauty of your creation and sense eternity within my heart. A day will  come when "The lamb at the centre of the throne will  be (our) shepherd, he will lead (us) to springs of living water.  He will wipe every tear from (our) eyes. " Revalation 7:17 A day will come, where eternity will be our home. A place of  Gods splendor and Glory, surrounding us forever!  But even here, on earth, we can have glimpses of his gift to us,  to come. God open our eyes to see your beauty in this life too.

Ellie has found her comforter!

Thanks God for answered prayer, James and the care taker at school finally detected Rabbie, hidden underneath a school cabinet at the school! Dadda returned the lost Rabbit to a very pleased little Ellie this afternoon... She (that's Rabbie) has received many loving hugs, kisses  and squeezes since!

Happy little Ellie!

blog blog...

Jessie managed to capture an arty shot of me blogging yesterday afternoon..

Making Marmalade

We have been successful! we made the apple and orange marmalade and it was so much fun!

Ingredients

360ml/12fl.oz. Water

1.2kg/2 ½ lb  Sugar

2  tbsp Lemon Juice

10 Apples, peeled and thinly sliced

1 Orange, quartered, seeded and thinly sliced  (including rind)

Instructions

1. Prepare the jars (see notes below)

2. Place the water and sugar in a large saucepan over a medium heat and stir until the sugar dissolves. 

3. Add lemon juice, apples and orange, bring to the boil and continue to boil for about 30 minutes, stirring.

4. Remove from the heat and test for a set (see notes below) . 

5. Skim any scum from the surface and ladle into warm jars.  Cover, seal and label (see notes below)

Getting prepared

the ingredients.

Chop and peel ..

Heat until reduced..

Preparing the labels...

Jessie's Jam.

Ellie's Jam

Ellie has lost her comforter.

Did anyone have a childhood comforter? I did. I sucked my 'pointy' finger upside down, whilst stroking my nose with my middle finger. I would clutch onto an old pair of p.j's that had become my tatty comforter since a very young age. I called it my 'cuddly.'  

I remember exactly how cuddly looked, he  was made of white cotton, soft to touch, with a red apples design all over them. I would swing cuddly around and around in the air to make it cold before snuggling it up to my face. I also remember how devastated I was when my younger brother decided to 'lose' my cuddly at a restaurant in Dubai. He 'accidently' put it one of their outside trash bins! - I never saw that cuddly again! Grrrr!

 Well Ellie has lost her comforter this weekend. She took it with her to church and we cant trace it. We have searched everywhere, even in the school lockers..It isn't being found! 

Bed time has been difficult, as  Ellie only wants  to cuddle her 'Rabbie.' We have tried giving her other soft toys, but its 'Rabbie' she craves! She wants the comfort that has been with her since she was a babe. No replacement comforter will fill her void.
 As I was thinking about this situation, I was thinking about when we, as adults, lose our comfort. Nothing can replace the comfort that God gives to us. When it is lost, we may try to replace it with other types of comfort. Food, wine, television, whatever we try and use, it is never a good enough substitute. We need to cry out for our true comfort- God!!

'Even though I walk
       through the valley of the shadow of death,
       I will fear no evil,
       for you are with me;
       your rod and your staff,
       they comfort me.' Psalm 23:4

' You will increase my honor
       and comfort me once again.' Psalm 71:21

'I remember your ancient laws, O LORD, and I find comfort in them.' Psalm 119:52

May your unfailing love be my comfort,
       according to your promise to your servant.  Psalm 119:76

Lets pray that Ellie finds her comfort soon!